Sleep Is Your Superpower: A Personal Guide to Deep Rest and Resilience

Sleep is one of the most overlooked superpowers we have. It fuels our focus, our mood, our immune system, our creativity, our ability to heal. It boosts longevity and supports the feel-good hormones that help us move through life with energy and joy.

And yet… most of us take it for granted. We push through. We skimp. We say we’ll catch up later. In our resilience programs, we always start with sleep - because it is foundational. Everything else - your energy, your mood, your ability to lead, to parent, to heal depends on it.

And still, I must admit I have struggled with it.

When Sleep Became My Breaking Point

Before my concussion, I was a “good” sleeper. Not always consistent, but I could crash easily after a busy day. After I fell and hit my helmet-less head on the pavement that all changed.

At first, I slept a lot. My body was in recovery. But then the insomnia took over. There is nothing more frustrating than being exhausted and yet unable to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for hours. I tried every remedy you can think of. I became hyper-diligent with my sleep hygiene. And still… nothing. I was wired. Restless. Desperate.

I understood why sleep deprivation was used as torture.

Later, I faced a new challenge: hormonal shifts. I began waking in the night again—more aware than ever of how sleep comes in seasons, cycles, and layers. It’s not a one-size-fits-all thing. It’s personal. It’s complex. And it’s deeply connected to our nervous system.

What Helped Me and Might Help You, Too

Sleep challenges can take many forms. Whether you're dealing with insomnia, disrupted sleep, or just feeling unrested in the morning, I want to share a few gentle practices that have made a real difference for me. They are mostly all about calming the nervous system and signaling to the body: it’s safe to rest now.

Here are a few of my go-tos supported by both research and personal experience:

1. Blue-blocking glasses at night: Exposure to blue light in the evening suppresses melatonin production, the hormone that tells your body it is time to sleep. Wearing blue-light-blocking glasses, especially in the hours before bed, helps restore your body’s natural circadian rhythm and improves sleep quality (Harvard Health Publishing, 2020).
   Personally, I use TrueDark glasses. I am not affiliated with them, but after buying about 10 different pairs, I finally found these ones worked. I use the amber ones during the day and switch to the red lenses at night. I look pretty goofy, but honestly, I don’t care. My eyes feel less tired, and I wind down much more easily in the evenings.
   I also aim to get bright natural light in my eyes early in the day and don’t wear sunglasses during my walks. It helps anchor my circadian rhythm and supports the natural build-up of melatonin for restful sleep at night.
2. Epsom salt baths: Epsom salts are high in magnesium sulfate, a compound known to relax muscles and support the production of calming neurotransmitters. A warm bath also encourages a drop in body temperature afterward, which promotes sleepiness (NIH Office of Dietary Supplements).
   I absolutely love this as a wind-down ritual. I dim the lights, fill the tub with warm water, and sometimes even light candles. The key is to use natural Epsom salts, at least a cup, and make sure there are no artificial fragrances or additives. Just soak, breathe, and let the day melt away. It’s such a simple but powerful way to relax both your body and mind before bed.
3. Kava Kava (discovered through Dr. Mindy Pelz): Kava is a natural herb used traditionally in the South Pacific for relaxation. Research suggests that kava may help reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality, particularly when used in moderation. (Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology, 2001). It is not addictive but tastes pretty bad so while Dr. Pelz recommends a tea, I buy some of the herb in capsules. I also do use low doses of melatonin. When I wake up in the middle of the night even 1 mg of melatonin sublingually really seems to help me. Valerian root is another great herb to explore.
4. Warm milk with cinnamon and honey: If you want to stay clear of herbs and supplements there is always warm milk. Warm milk contains tryptophan, which helps boost melatonin production. I use almond milk which works well too. Cinnamon can stabilize blood sugar, and a little honey may assist with melatonin release, helping you wind down in a natural and nurturing way (National Sleep Foundation). I find it super soothing especially in the cold months!
5. A consistent sleep routine: Have you ever put a baby to bed? When our girls were little, we had an elaborate bedtime routine. We’d dim the lights, give them a warm bath, rub lavender lotion on their little feet, read a book, nurse them, sing a lullaby, and turn on white noise. It was soothing, repetitive, and deeply calming. And if we skipped it? They either wouldn’t fall asleep or they’d wake up screaming in the middle of the night.
   We are no different.
   A regular bedtime routine, like the ones we create for babies, can be just as effective for adults. Consistent cues like dim lighting, calming music, or light stretching signal the brain it’s time for sleep. It’s also essential to shut off devices and avoid watching the news before bed. The content is often negative and highly stimulating, spiking our cortisol levels and signaling threat not rest. Creating boundaries with media helps our nervous system unwind and creates a sense of safety.
   This practice aligns with research showing that routine-driven transitions enhance circadian rhythm alignment and improve sleep quality (Sleep Foundation, 2021).
6. Catch the right 'sleepy-time bus': As sleep pressure builds throughout the day, our body gives us windows of readiness to fall asleep. If we override those signals, it can delay sleep and disrupt its depth. Sleep expert Dr. Matthew Walker likens this to missing the 'sleepy-time bus'. Get on early and enjoy a smoother, deeper ride (Why We Sleep, 2017).
   Research continues to show that the earlier we go to bed, the better quality of sleep we get especially for deep, restorative rest. I know for many parents (me included), after a long day of work, making meals, helping with homework, and driving to evening activities, it can feel like the only "me time" comes at night. But what if we flipped it? Instead of staying up late, try going to bed earlier and creating your personal time in the morning instead. You'll be more rested, clearer, and more resilient.
   I love this quote by Benjamin Franklin: “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
7. Avoid alcohol before bed: Alcohol has become so normalized in our culture. It is used to decompress, connect socially, and yes, even as a sleep aid. But if you look into the research (and listen to your body), it becomes clear: alcohol is not your friend when it comes to quality sleep especially as we get older.
   While it may help you fall asleep faster, it disrupts your REM cycles, increases the likelihood of waking up in the night, and leads to lighter, less restorative sleep overall. It’s often the reason people wake between 2 and 4 a.m. feeling restless. So even though it might offer a short-term sedative effect, alcohol actually prevents you from getting the deep rest your body and mind need to restore (Sleep Foundation, 2020).
8. Legs up the wall + breathwork before bed: In my yoga therapy training, we often talked about the importance of incorporating an evening practice before sleep to calm the nervous system. Gentle movement paired with long, slow breathing is incredibly effective. One of the most powerful and simple things you can do is put your legs up the wall. I do this in bed, scooching over to the bed frame and lifting my legs up. This mild inversion promotes circulation, reduces pressure in the lower body, and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, inviting deep relaxation.
   As I rest there, I breathe slowly. The key with breathwork is to make your exhale longer than your inhale. Try inhaling to the count of 4, holding gently, then exhaling for 6. Find a ratio that works for you and repeat it at least 12 times. You can even visualize breathing in white cleansing light and breathing out tension. Another trick I use: breathe out through pursed lips, like you're blowing through a straw, this naturally slows the exhale and deepens the calming effect.
   If you wake up in the middle of the night, try this again (no need for legs up this time). Just lie on your back, place one hand on your heart and the other on your upper abdomen and breathe yourself back to sleep. Simple but so, so powerful.
9. CBT strategies for worry and anxiety: Worrying is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to restless nights. I’ll admit it I’m a bit of a worrier. And when I’m tired or run down, those thoughts seem to multiply. Worrying about sleep itself: "Will I sleep tonight? What if I don’t?" - can activate the nervous system and create a vicious cycle of alertness when we most need rest.
   Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is one of the most evidence-based approaches to improving sleep. One tool that helped me is called Constructive Thinking. Here’s how it works:
   Earlier in the day (not right before bed), sit down and write out the 3–5 worries most likely to keep you up. Acknowledge them. Then brainstorm one or two things you can do to address or resolve each one, either tomorrow or in the future. Finally, write down your to-do list for the next day. Just getting it out of your head and onto paper brings relief.
   Now when you lie in bed and your mind wants to run wild, you can gently remind yourself: I’ve already dealt with this. You can also try placing one hand on your heart and one on your belly, breathing gently and deeply as discussed in strategy number 8.
   One more step that helps me is that I mentally "Ishvara Pranidhana" it—which in yoga philosophy means to surrender it to a higher power. That moment of letting go helps me soften and settle.
   Also avoid bringing unresolved emotions or stimulating discussions into the bedroom. If you can, create a nighttime boundary: no work, no screens, no intense conversations. Instead, write down three things you're grateful for, visualize something funny or beautiful, or gently meditate. These tiny shifts make a big difference for me.

One Final Note: Hormones and Sleep

If you're doing all the right things and still struggling, especially if you’re a woman in perimenopause or menopause, it may not be just about habits, it might be hormonal. I’ve noticed how cyclical my own sleep can be and how tied it is to the rhythms of my body. Hormonal fluctuations can wreak havoc on our ability to fall and stay asleep. If this is your experience, I encourage you to talk to a trusted naturopath or functional medicine practitioner. There are natural ways to support hormonal balance.

From Torture to Awakening

There was a time when my insomnia felt like pure torment. Now, I see it differently. It has taught me to slow down, listen to my body, and treat sleep with the reverence it deserves. Some nights are still hard. But I’ve learned how to support myself through them with less judgment and more compassion.

If sleep has been a struggle for you too, you’re not alone. I’ve pulled together a Sleep Guide with the most effective tools and practices I’ve gathered through my own healing, research, and teaching.

I'll be sending it out to my mailing list next week. Click here to join our newsletter list if you haven't already.

Let this be your reminder: you deserve rest. And with the right support, your body knows how to find its way back.

With so much love,
Monica